/feedback
-reader mail

* The New UN: Global Peacekeeping X-treme *

Francis,
Shortly after writing you that previous letter of lukewarm politics I read your posted article on the people of Liberia. At the end of the article you wrote, "Ultimately, the situation begs the simple question: is this really our business?" That is the question that sums up the situation in Liberia, but it ties into a question that has been in the air ever since the 9/11 attacks:
should America be the world's police?
Any intelligent person can see that this not even a question. Of course the U.S. shouldn't regulate all nations as it sees fit. Under its own principals America can't justify taking on the role of an international Starsky and Hutch (with England as its occasional Huggy Bear). America is based on the idea that everyone gets a fair go. If America were the world's police then it would act with its own special interests and those who happen to be out of its favor would be forced to comply with any number of demands before receiving assistance. From a world standpoint that circumstance would be distinctly undemocratic.
But of course the world needs a governing body to slap some wrists when a particularly audacious nation step out of line, an impartial judge that includes all (or at least a lot of) nations. Setting up such a body would take a huge effort, one that many nations would not be willing to do. Fortunately there is already such a body in existence: the UN. Now before anyone has a chance to send me a mail-bomb or anything, let me say that I know that the UN, as it is now, has about as much balls as a twelve-year-old girl. I'm saying that with some reform of the basic structure of the UN we, as world citizens, could have a bitchin' international force. The name itself is fine, sort of royal and commanding. The way it enforces its policies, however, will have to be changed drastically.
First of all the UN gets its own army. Every nation would pick a certain number of its best and brightest soldiers, then issue them a set of UN uniforms along with those of the country the soldier is from. The UN Army would have its own set of rules and way of marching (I imagine something Korean-like). The soldiers would be just as loyal to the UN as they are to their country of origin, in theory. As for the uniforms themselves they'd have to be something
intimidating, like red and black (I'm sure there are some of those Republican Guard uniforms still lying around). The flag has got to go. It needs to be more catchy; nobody is going to sketch the current UN emblem on the back of their notebook. I think it should resemble the Harley Davidson logo, but I'm still thinking about it.
The first action of the reformed UN would have to be a well chosen one; they would, of course, make it illegal to be both a prime minister and named Tony Blair. What I should have mentioned first, for it needs the most immediate change, are the jeeps. They look like they belong to an eighth grader's benchmark project rather than the transportation of a powerful governing authority. The inspectors might as well ride around in mini-vans with soccer balls
printed on the back window. The obvious vehicles of powerful people are black, tinted windowed, dangerously silent, SUV's. With guns. Big ones.
Obviously there are some logistical problems. For example, how loyal will soldiers stay to a newly formed and unstable military force, or how do you construct that second sentence in the fifth paragraph so that it doesn't end with a preposition? Such questions will forever hinder decisive plans of action, but something must be done and now is not the time for nay-saying. I would like say as a parting shot that, though presented as a joke, behind all humor
there is some truth and not all ideas here should be discarded. Somewhat Kidding,
Ben Townsend